Thursday, May 5, 2011

Pushing Out Air: Part II: The Drive

He made it seem so easy
getting away
from torture
from someone who didn't love you
like they had promised on that
day in August
he had left you made you
beg for life
and then you ran
far away
but he caught up
and took away your innocence
barely scraping by
you hear the faint sound of music from the radio
and take it in
feeling life crawl back into the brightness of your eyes
and you make due
with the security you have
that you possess at this moment and you
don't want to go back there
not even in your dreams
there were no good times
only tolerated ones
days of sun
and days of rain
mixed in one
kept you cold, made no warmth for your soul
you can't stop pushing out air
shallow quick breaths turn to deep calm
surviving ones
you remember seeing it all
the walls so plain your screams gave it color
the red for pain
and deep purple for sadness
the tears washed your feet
you were locked away in your own body
keeping away from corners
so dark
they may snatch your hope away
the steps and footfalls of him who came to take you away
take it all away make you nothing
from something.
He took it all, made it empty
took the hope
which turned to hate
locked you back in the cage
tied you down and made you
scream from your eyes
he's gagged you doesn't want to hear you scream anymore
He calls it fun
you think you're done
and feel it, all the light turn to dark.
You feel the scent of the trees tickle your nostrils
Rick is driving still.
He makes you feel safe secure
the way a brother should be
all those things
that you did
that you do
that you will do
means nothing to him
he loves you and
gives you the drive to survive
and all the great
things in the world
do not compare to the love of your
only surviving sibling
for the others are long gone
you are dead to them
but he encourages you to still push out air.
The sign is blinking- vacancy.
you stop for the night, crawl into bed while he keeps watch
with a steady eye
in your dreams you are safe
at home
twelve again
nothing wrong
everything good and whole.
He keeps watch over you, like an angel should
and he is there
back in the truck driving
knowing that they are looking for you
the man, the monster, the place
which you were ripped from
they can no longer feed
they are hungry and wanting
they will find you
oh, they will find you
but you still possess the drive,
the will to live.
Just keep pushing out air.
you are still pushing out air.

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